To Live Life as a Catalyst

To Live Life as a catalyst
it's a stepping into of reality that's an at - a- last
gaining moment with every selfish decision pushed passed
dedicated to driving home with love - pure

but don't you blink for a second recognition
else wind up putting out your own ignition
stalling out on the borderline of regret and indecision

no drama mama drive
no drama mama drive

the rearview mirror doesn't give you sight
it's not supposed to show you how to drive right
just remind you what was the worth the fight
and an extra light to remind you what's been done
eyes on the road
metaphysical the lyrical dropped solemnly in your gatorade
while you pump metal and team up for small shallow charades
silent game of cards
unspoken game of musical chairs
only masks worn there
only masks worn there
live life as a catalyst
the moment is hard to resist
iron sharpens iron and so do your fists
but one is made of flesh the other grinds your bones

to the powder your flesh is breathed from
and you chalk up your existence with each beating drum
like the drum master's on your payroll
when the drum master's just your ego and you're bleeding red from all the seams
asking questions
what does this mean
what does this mean
demanding answers for questions your own answers asked

while your bloodstream still brims with new life
if you would only sit up and drive right
keep the ignition burning bright
evoking a positive spark
wherever you go

drive mama drive
drama makes you slow

Resurfacing Meek

The solid truth lies to wait in theory and in application.  Not "lies" as in "lays" but "lies" as in "the opposite..." of the word itself, it lies, it lies to wait- in theory and application truth allows the suspense of understanding so that it may be made more clear in it's fruition then if it were to blast beams of neon shouting "I make the most sense" "I am right".

Not because confusion is something that truth enjoys.  Nor is it something that truth can't control, no - rather truth itself is not something that can be changed.  IT is itself.  Everything else is a wrapped up, swept up, dreamscape directed by your metaphysical theorists and rational straight jacket patients hoping to match the glamour of a Tarsem Singh.

Truth itself is.  Itself.  And regardless of the turbulent waters, the over-broadcasted erratic-ism  the melancholy succulents, and the self loathing barbiturates of society- truth remains and exists not in spite but in preference.

And those things that are fleeting and over processed and all fun no purpose grasp at the truth like a tether only content when the truth brings safety and brings comfort only when it protects from going out too far into the seas of imagination.  And in this when truth is not fitting to the waves created by rational doggy paddling logic, the truth is blamed- and given other names.  The truth then is told what it is, with all of the things that it isn't.

In order to justify the actions of the aforementioned, in order to ease the conscience of the depraved, to show the faults and paint the picture away from the natural consequential spotlight, the truth is given over to be told as a lie.

And so the masses rest, and the friends keep content, and companies thwart, and wars are won, and blood is shed, and rights are righted, and injustices are justified.  And the truth is told it is a lie.  And the lies are told they are truths and in this chaos and mess, the people on the boat jump ship - and join those who are merely tethered to truth.  They swim as fast as they can into the waves because the waves are there, and they enjoy the progress they are making in the struggle they have created for themselves.  They abandon truth.

Truth is unchanging and ever constant.  And lies become tired and show themselves for what they are.  You are meek and kind, full of patience and love.  Your world presses around you and points fingers saying you are wrong or "how could you not change yourself for my intentions" but they will grow tired. Truth lies to wait in theory and application.  You find yourself confused and in unfair circumstances. Those around you are jumping ship.  Truth lies to wait in theory and application.  Be still and know He is God.

Quick, Like a Poem

Adrenaline
As like the pages from a well worn book
Gradually grace the grooves of individuality
Push the envelope of paycheckings 
Payroll
Endorphins
Elevating the floor to an above average height
So you feel taller without even trying
So you feel lighter without even fighting
Gravity
Quick, like a poem

I'm Sorry Lord

I've been trying to figure things out my whole life
A gift You've given me of insight
But my heart and my mind were never designed

To replace You

I'm sorry Lord 
I've tried to use
Insight as catalyst
Thinking I could achieve more 
If I could just figure out what You want 
Instead of just being 
Filled enough to be poured 
I'm sorry Lord
I've not made you King
Just made you page handler 
Running my dreams 
Instead of thanking you for freeing my heart 
I've taken things that were never meant to be

But You redeem

You've been asking me to let go of time
You sent someone to tell us all to let go of 

Outcome

And Lord if time & outcome are Yours
I have no choice but to rest in this place

I have no choice but to trust You
Because the sum of probabilities for all possible outcomes is equal to one

Yours

And I'm starting to believe 
Time doesn't exist
All I can do is rest 
All I can do is rest

Return Receipts

I am thankful for the tightly sealed communication
Written with love like an autograph 
In the curves of the lines of my own nomanclature.
I am thankful for the care of the straight edges
Outlining the potential savings of purchases,
Each a representation of our saavy family connections.
I am greatful for the details of the package
A half mocking liberty bell | postage marked
So I can picture the time it took to put this in my hands,
And the courage it took to change your day.
I am happy to have these manufacturer's coupons.
But I have a secret.
In a drawer on my desk they are all there
In neat stacks
The remainders of expired conveys of affection
From 800 miles away
And maybe with all of is left
I could cash in
Just once I think I am hoping
The sealed communication
Would open to a love letter
That doesn't expect me 
To discount
That would wish I would return 
With proof of purchase 
Something the manufacturers could never store
I am thankful
Thankful for generations
Thankful for your love
Thankful I know you'll mail me more 
Maybe I should start mailing you receipts

Speak the Speech

"Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to you, trippingly on the tongue.  But if you mouth it, as many of our players do, I had as lief the town crier spoke my lines." Hamlet Act 3 Scene 2

Speak the speech
I pray you
Your heart doth drum 
And with the breath of life
Bring truth to yearning 
For the sun 
In the shadow of night
Minds grow numb
Forget the fight that nature knows
To be the noble one 
Rebirth 
The one of rebirth
Two years since I said
Goodbye
Since I told him who is now long gone
"Paths aren't always 
Right side by side"
He'd been taken from his 
For too long
Two years since I turned
My face
Looked only to my God
Speaking sincerity my deepest
Desires 
For which only He knows 
I long
Speak the speech I pray you
The time has come 
Leave memories to memories
And pick up our joyful song
For it is ours if we sing it 
It is ours if we speak it
Speak the speech I pray you
And I will sing along

Novels

I could write novels
Wrap your brain around
Plausible fantasies
Extrapolated from logical
Conclusions that make the hearer
Quicken to come clean

Truth is more solid
And reality much better
Than any fiction
Any writer
Could blog post

Because reality gives us
The hook and eye
Gives us the suspense
The thematic undertones

And the turning of a page
Is only a mimic of the
Timing of your breath

Read your life like a best seller
Embrace the Author
Complete your Nobel character flaws
Reach beyond your fiction

This is factual.
Our lives are the best novelties.